Wondering if do they care .....

DOES ANYONE CARE?

One more day begun

I tried to smile

But pains were too strong!

The only thing I want is to sleep...

To make all this go away...

This fatigue

That fills my soul

And prevents me to get up,

Is weaken me

Is clouding my judgment

Is killing me inside!!

I feel so tired

Still, I waited for your call

So that I would know that you care!

The sun shines bright outside...

I can't open my eyes though

Because the light hurt them!

And the dark it's all I can stand!...

Unhappy I feel, 'cause I lost hope

And without hope there's no happiness!...

For the one who keeps the hope

Of being happy one day

Will be happy forever!..

Pain makes me feel miserable,

Makes me follow a different path!

I thought friends cared

I thought I was not alone...

Yet, here I am

Suffering in silence

Screaming inside,

So lonely...

I hate feeling like this!

I don't want to live like this

I don't want to breath

So that I can't feel anything at all!

I don't want to dream

'Cause there's no hope for me ...

I just want to know that you care !

I want you to feel my pains

To understand how they make me feel!...

I struggle to fight all these feelings

But it's so hard to deal with so many pains,

Day after day,

All day long!

My strenght is fading fast

Dying inside each day

Loosing hope every minute

And I wonder where my friends are.....

If I wasn't here tomorrow

Would anyone loose sleep?

Would anyone care or miss me?

All these pains I have to live with

All this sorrow,

My effort to be strong for you all...

Does it matter at all in the end?...

I just want to lay down and never wake up!

Because I don't want to live like this anymore...

I want a better life,

Without pain!

Can you even imagine

How much I suffer inside?

Do you really care?

I just want to feel better!!

I don't want to surrender,

Still it's so hard....

I want to open my eyes

See the beauty of the day

Believe that all the pain will disappear..

Yet I know it's a lie!

I will never be all right!

I don't want you to see me cry,

So I smile!

Nevertheless, here I am

In my silence,

Waiting for your concern ...

If only you could hold on my hand ..

Say "you'll be okay",

I might believe in you!..

So fed up of living like this ...

All this endless pain..

Please, make it end!

Silent tears

Inner screams

Eternal battles

'Cause I can't deal with this disease!

I just need a friendly voice

To ease my torment...

Just a flower to light my day...

Just a whisper to make me believe again!

Where are you when i'm in agony?

Do you care?

Do you worry?

Will you look for me ?

Will you send me a signal?

Soon it would be night

Though I still feel all this weariness

All this powerless!

I want to move

But I find myself stuck..

I try so hard to be strong

To control this lack of hope ...

Tears filling my eyes

A silent scream in the emptiness of my soul..

So defeated

So alone

All this pain and exhaustion....

Where are my friends?

Who's gonna hold me?

Who's gonna help me?

No one knows...

You don't care!

I need to pull myself together

And fight this monster inside!

I will show you all

That I can do it on my own... as always!

Just silent tears

Just deaf screams

Just an invisible struggle!

Tomorrow it's another day

Probably one more day in my life...

Empty, painful, lonely

Like many others!..

Just one more step

In this path of punishment

One more silent day

One more lie

One more false hope...

So,

If I wasn't here tomorrow

Would anyone miss me?

Or,

When i'm gone will you know indeed

How I really lived?

All the pain

All the sorrow

All the struggle...

All the tears that you didn't see

All the whispers when I was suffering?

Will you remember the best of me?

Pain pull back all my hopes and dreams...

No matter how hard you try

You just can't get rid of it!...

In your selfishness,

Would you understand how hard it is

For me to live the way I do ?...

Pretending to be fine

Smiling to disguise the pain inside?

Will you ever imagine how painful

It is have a life like mine?...

If you only knew that

A friendly voice sometimes is enough to ease the pain

That a call asking "are you ok?" would be the least you could do!!

I think I go for a sleep...

Maybe one day

I will find light and happiness again....

Maybe one day

I will wake up and all my hopes and dreams are back again...

Maybe one day...

But for now,

Let me go trying to stop my sorrow!!.....

June 2011