To my husband who has always been there for me ... I need you more than you can imagine !

SPRING MEMORIES

The sun shines bright in the sky

And I smell the spring coming..

Birds singing..

The flowers are blooming!

What a wonderful feeling !...

I look to the sea

So calm, so blue

And I remind of all the good memories..

I can visualize the goods things

Of my life in my mind ...

I close my eyes

And I try to live all those memories again ...

I can smile ...they make me feel good, happy...

The sun in my face

Warms up my heart...

I miss that joy

I miss that happiness...

Deep inside I know I am loved...

But why do I feel so lonely? so unloved?

Why always this sensation of failure?

A small breeze caressing my face,

And I close my eyes again...

Trying to keep those memories alive....

Seagulls in the beach dancing for me

And the sound of the ocean is music for my hears!

Why can't life be just like this moment?

Why do we have to suffer?

Why do I feel such pain?

Why this emptiness inside?

Why do I feel so lost?....

Even when I am in your arms?

Why do I cry when you are loving me?

I wish I could fly,

So that I would reach the sun...

I wish I was a mermaid,

So that I could swim far away from here...

Never stopping...

Never regretting..

Never feeling...

Just flying till my wings fail!

Just swimming till I have no more breath!

But, running all the time

Setting myself free !!!

March 2011

THE POWER OF MY LOVE

I look to the sky
Searching for my lucky star
Wandering through the night
Looking for my place in this world...

I cause so much pain
to those I love!
Always trying to be the best...
And always failing!!

Wrong words coming out from my mouth...
Nasty, awful words..
Never winning
Never comforting..

What's my mission here?
My life worth nothing!!
No one cares for me
No one miss me!!!
So, what am I doing here?!

I can't help anybody...
So why the pain?!
Can you please stop the pain?
'Cuz it's too strong...

I cannot make you happy!
I always choose the wrong direction!
What's the point to live like this?!...
Always hurting
always failing
always destroying?!!!...

I cannot make the difference...
I can only bring suffering and regretts!
I will never be a shinning star!
I will never be anybody's sunshine!

All I do best is to hurt people I love...
Making them feel unloved and unwanted...
I try so hard to be the sun in the sky,
and the flower in the garden...
I try to light the night for you
But I only bring darkness!!...

What's my place in your life
If i cannot make you happy?
What's my duty in here?
I bleed inside
'Cuz you don't understand how big my love is..
I scream for help,
But you can't hear it!

I would die for you
I would sell my soul
Just to see you happy!

I would become blind
Just to light your day
I would fade away
Just to prove my love for you...

I would go to hell
If that would bring you happiness!!
I try each day
I fail every day...
I bleed for you
I cry for you
I suffer for you...

But in the end you can't see it, can you?
You are the best
And you should have it all!!
I am so sorry,for all the pain...

I do not deserve someone like you!
You can find better than me!
You deserve a shinning sun
To warm your day!
A starry night,
To make you smile ...

You deserve an angel
And all you got was a demon!
A creature from darkness
To haunt you...
You deserve better than me...
I will crawl back to where I belong....

February 2011

Dedicated to my Lovely Husband

Bon jovi - Thank you for loving me lyrics