INNER DESIRE

Here I am sitting by the seaside

This smell of ocean

Bringing me back some memories ...

How peaceful it is in here!

Only the sound of the waves

Crushing against the rocks

And the gentle breeze ...

Singing in my ears!

Marvellous feeling

The sun in my face!

I wish I could stay here forever...

Soon It will get dark

But still I am,

Sitting by the seaside

Watching the sunset...

The warmth of the colours

The brightness of the sun

Hiding behind the sea...

I wish I could stop the clock!

I close my eyes

And I listen to the birds singing

And I feel the wind dancing for me....

I try to imagine myself flying !

Fresh little drops of salty water

Refreshing my cheecks...

What a wonderful feeling!

I wish I could freeze on time!...

I wish I could have you here with me forever...

Just listen...

The birds singing,

The wind dancing,

The ocean whispers....

All this for me!

And my lovely sun

Waving me goodbye...

I wish this never ends !

I wish I could bottle all those good things

Just to help me

In my darkest days

To light my path when shadows follow me...

I wishI could reach the sky

And fly away from here...

Become a colourful butterfly,

Happy everlasting!

No night, no darkness

No haunting shadows

No voices in my head...

Just the ocean

To wash away the pain!

The sun to warm me up in cold days

The birds to sing for me when i'm sad!

I wish I could have it all!...

Good feelings

Love and hapiness

Only me and nature!

Dancing in the sky

Singing eternally

Flying forever

Never giving up

Never losing direction...

Here am I

With my eyes closed

By the seaside,

Making wishes that will never come true!

Just wishing...

Just hoping ....

January 2011

DEATH

I want to fly

I want to dream

I want to live forever

I want to be strong!

I wonder if I will live enought...

If this darkness that's haunting me

Will let me go....

I want to smile

I want to be happy...

No more sorrow

No more fear

No more pain

Just eternal life!

I cry for I am so scare...

I hide my loneliness inside,

My lack of hope!

All this uncertainty hurts me!...

Foolish thoughts

Dark feelings

Embracing me in the night

Telling me that I will die!!...

I run to find my light..

I don't want to die!

What about my dreams?

What about my hopes?

Go away painful darkness

And let me go...

I want to feel the sun in my face

The sand under my feet...

I want to feel the sweet breeze embracing me ...

I want to live!...

No more sorrow

No more pain

No more fear!

January 2011

The Dream

In my sleep

The Reaper comes

In his black vest...

With him the hands of death

Grab me to take me away!...

I cry but nobody hears...

I fight but the hands

Are dragging me down to Darkness...

In my sleep

The Reaper tells me "I'm here to take you"

I want to run,

I feel this anguish in my chest ...

I scream but nobody wakes up to help me ...

Hands of death crawling into my bed...

I feel the cold embracing me

I feel the emptiness in my soul

I feel myself fading away....

Desperation tears roll down my face

I struggle...

I moan...

'Cuz the hands of death are here to stay...

In my sleep

The Reaper came...

I'm so frightened...

I'm so lost...

This darkness in my room....

In my sleep

I felt the Death and it's coldness..

I shouted

I cried

I fought

But now I am awake...

And I will sleep no more !!

January 2011

WINTER....

It's a rainy day
And the wind blows strong...
No sunshine in the sky
To warm my face!

I'm just sitting here
Wondering about my life ...
Feeling so lost
Trying to understand
Why this lack of hope
Why this loss of strenght!!!

In my dark shadow
I cry helplessly
'Cuz I just can't help you!
And in the hole I hide myself from pain....

Powerless I am..
I just watch you falling down
And I do nothing to stop you...
I just can't move!

I cry inside for the pain you feel..
I scream with anger
'Cuz I'm not strong enough!!..

Always hurting my loved ones
Just to protect myself from misery...
Always choosing the wrong path
And in the end it's only me who gets hurt!...

I'm so afraid
But I can't tell you...
I'm so confused
So lost in my darkness...

I'ts raining outside
And in my face tears roll down
The wind blows lightly
And with the breeze
I lost my hopes and dreams...
And I ask why are they flying away from me?!...

I feel so lonely
I feel so lost
I feel so hopeless and dejected..

I see you fading away
And there's nothing I can do to help you..
I am so weak..
I am so imperfect..
So to the cold, dark hole I run to hide myself from shame ...

December 2010

MySpace Music

Please try this link...: http://www.myspace.com/lazev

I have been writing music for more than 20 years now, and will post some on this site.

Please visit it and give your comments... bad or good... :)

Some of these were in fact written for poems on this site.

FOREVER ALONE

It's dark outside
And I feel so lonely
No one to hold me
No one to make me feel loved..

Tears rolling down my face...
This emptiness in my heart
And this desperate feeling in my soul!...

I close my eyes
And I feel myself flying
And in the night
I dance and I sing .....

The song of death
The dance of desperation
Lost in the dark....

In this cold, dark day
I long for my inner peace
I wait for my resurrection...

My heart cries
My soul bleeds...
Such a pain
Such an anguish!!

I feel so lonely...
Where´s my sun light?
It's dark outside
and I feel so lost...

Blood tears
Aching heart
Lost soul......

November 2010

Living In The Night

It's late in the night
I look to the sky
And the stars shine on me ...
The moon lights my face
And I listen to the silence ...
The quietness of the night
The peace of the lonely....

The night breeze whispers in my hear
And nearby a running litle font sings for me!

There are no sorrows
There are no tears
There are no expectations....
Only this romance with the night spirit!...

I close my eyes
And I feel myself flying through the forest....
What a view
what a feeling of freedom...

No more pain
No more criticism
No more powerless...
Now the spirit is free at last!!

Go,
Dance with the moon
And flirt with the stars...
The night is yours...my spirit!

Just listen
All this peace...
The feeling of relief
No more shadows to haunt you
No more voices to madden you...
Only this stillness!
No more darkness!!

Fly my spirit
Free myself from the pain
Just let me be
For I don't want to leave!!
Just let me stay for awhile
Let me appreciate
this night symphony...

Let me embrace this feeling of inner peace
Before I return to the real world...
Just listen to the music of the night
Under the silver light
Of my dear moon!!...

Just let me be...
Hold on these memories....
Grab this peaceful feeling...
No whispers
No voices......

September 2010