ROTTEN FRIENDSHIP

Friends...

They should the light in our lives

The torch that guide us through the years

Those who always tell us the truth

The ones who cheer us up on a bad day!...

Friends...

Some are my nightmare,

The darkness in my day!...

They deceive, they lie

They make me feel evil...

They hurt, they stab me in the back!...

Friends...

Always comparing

Always putting me down...

They rejoiced with my misfortune,

They feed on my sorrow

they are thirsty of my tears!...

Friends...

Shadows haunting me

Beasts waiting to tear my heart apart ,

To feast on my soul!..

Rotten friends...

Crushing me

Dragging me deeper and deeper to loneliness,

Burning me alive,

Dancing and laughing with my suffering!!

Friends ....

Some are devils disguised in angels..

They smile, they hug,

they take advantage,

Use me and then discharge me!...

Rotten friends...

Crawling in the shade

Waiting for me ...

Pulling me into hell,

Bringing me more sadness...

Rotten friends...

I know who you are!

I will let you all have fun with my misery...

For the time being!

But I will fight for my deliverance!!...

I will slide from this dark room

Where you locked me in...

I will follow my path and never look back!....

Rotten, false

Treacherous friends...

Disgusting maggots,

Feeding on me!!

Nevermore!!...

Friends...

Some are angels

Some are wicked...

Enlightened friends

Love me as I am,

Accept me with heart and soul!

Shady friends,

Try to defeat me

They demoralize me all the time

They take away all my hopes and dreams!...

Rotten friends...

I know who you are

But, this time you are not going to get me....

September 2011

The Emptiness (English version)

Desperate anguish
That run me over down the path,
Sadness that crushes me mercilessly!

Without defense or shield
I struggle to control my destiny ...
continual rain
that floods my soul,
Thunder that scares me
In the dark night ....

Stripped, I struggle in the endless night
cold and wet ..
Darkness blinds me
and keeps me from finding my way ...

Acute pain and merciless
that kills me slowly!...
I cry of helplessness
And I pray for the light that will illuminate my soul ...

Groans and moans
fly by night,
Without direction, without purpose
Lost in this valley without an end!

tormented by the screams of despair
I call ... but nobody hears me ...
Lost forever
In this eternal cold night...

Without finding my way ....
Only the moon is my light
and the howling of wolves my music ...
Lost in this endless night
I cry for the lost strenght!

I Without soul or body
I wander alone
Among the wailing and despair ...
Lost in the shadows of the night
Looking for my place ..

Rain of tears
accompanying me,
Trembling and groaning
I hear in the night .....

Therefore defenseless and without shield
I venture the eternal night ...
Without hope and without destination
anguish let me hug !!...

Looking For Love

It's cold outside
My heart beats faster
Can't stop thinking about you
Crying
Hoping
Calling your name
Are you there?

Screams inside my head
Pain in my soul
All I can see is darkness
Where are you?

It's so cold!!...
I'm shivering
I want to fly
I want to hold your hand

Dark clouds in the sky
Noisy storm in my head
Lightening penetrating in my heart
Calling your name

I'm freezing
I'm in pain
Crying
Aching inside
lost in time
I long for your touch

Come, run for me
I'm waiting ....
Stop the pain
Put an end to all this ...

It's night and I'm alone
Crying out loud for your name
Heartache
Empty soul
Wandering in the dark

Where are you?
Will you come for me?
Will you save me from my own?
Will you find me?


July 2011

Will You Remember Me?

I look through my window...

Outside is a sunny day,

However I feel so sad,

So empty, so lost! ...

I realised that none of my dreams

Will ever come true!!

When I die,

Who's going to remember me ?

Will you remember who I was?

Will you know what I did ?

What a waste of a lovely day!

I should go out for a walk,

Feel the sun on my face...

I should,

But I rather stay indoors,

Crying, suffering on my own...

Wishing what I cannot have !

Just feeling this anguish within me!

Time is running fast

I cannot keep the pace...

I feel drowning

I feel lonely...

Who's going to remember me,

When you are gone too, my love?

Will you keep my memory , my friend?

No one to tell the story

Nobody in here to tell,

How much I could love and care...

Nothing will remain,

No tales, no memories

Everything will be lost,

In this empty world !

I don't want to go

I don't want to feel the sorrow...

Darkness surrounding me

Thoughts banging in my head...

I crouch and I cry

Nowhere to escape

No one to remember ...

Just loneliness

Infinite empty space where I lost myself !

What a lovely day to dream

To have hope

To believe in the future

To smile !!...

Yet, it hurts so much !

What's the point of living

If, at the end there is nothing

To keep my memory alive ?...

What's the point of such a pain ??

This emptiness in my heart ?

This darkness in my soul ?...

I close my eyes,

And I fly in the eternal night

Looking for my place in this world !

Whispers everywhere

Cold chills through my bones ...

No light, no path

Just infinite darkness ...

No answers, nobody

No feelings,

Just myself in my world,

Running away

Deceiving time ,

Turning myself into a dark butterfly...

Such a waste of a sunny day,

Still I can't avoid all those questions

Always haunting me,

Night and day !

I close my eyes,

Tears roll down my face

Fast like rain in a stormy day !!

So, will you remember me in the end?...

July 2011

Wondering if do they care .....

DOES ANYONE CARE?

One more day begun

I tried to smile

But pains were too strong!

The only thing I want is to sleep...

To make all this go away...

This fatigue

That fills my soul

And prevents me to get up,

Is weaken me

Is clouding my judgment

Is killing me inside!!

I feel so tired

Still, I waited for your call

So that I would know that you care!

The sun shines bright outside...

I can't open my eyes though

Because the light hurt them!

And the dark it's all I can stand!...

Unhappy I feel, 'cause I lost hope

And without hope there's no happiness!...

For the one who keeps the hope

Of being happy one day

Will be happy forever!..

Pain makes me feel miserable,

Makes me follow a different path!

I thought friends cared

I thought I was not alone...

Yet, here I am

Suffering in silence

Screaming inside,

So lonely...

I hate feeling like this!

I don't want to live like this

I don't want to breath

So that I can't feel anything at all!

I don't want to dream

'Cause there's no hope for me ...

I just want to know that you care !

I want you to feel my pains

To understand how they make me feel!...

I struggle to fight all these feelings

But it's so hard to deal with so many pains,

Day after day,

All day long!

My strenght is fading fast

Dying inside each day

Loosing hope every minute

And I wonder where my friends are.....

If I wasn't here tomorrow

Would anyone loose sleep?

Would anyone care or miss me?

All these pains I have to live with

All this sorrow,

My effort to be strong for you all...

Does it matter at all in the end?...

I just want to lay down and never wake up!

Because I don't want to live like this anymore...

I want a better life,

Without pain!

Can you even imagine

How much I suffer inside?

Do you really care?

I just want to feel better!!

I don't want to surrender,

Still it's so hard....

I want to open my eyes

See the beauty of the day

Believe that all the pain will disappear..

Yet I know it's a lie!

I will never be all right!

I don't want you to see me cry,

So I smile!

Nevertheless, here I am

In my silence,

Waiting for your concern ...

If only you could hold on my hand ..

Say "you'll be okay",

I might believe in you!..

So fed up of living like this ...

All this endless pain..

Please, make it end!

Silent tears

Inner screams

Eternal battles

'Cause I can't deal with this disease!

I just need a friendly voice

To ease my torment...

Just a flower to light my day...

Just a whisper to make me believe again!

Where are you when i'm in agony?

Do you care?

Do you worry?

Will you look for me ?

Will you send me a signal?

Soon it would be night

Though I still feel all this weariness

All this powerless!

I want to move

But I find myself stuck..

I try so hard to be strong

To control this lack of hope ...

Tears filling my eyes

A silent scream in the emptiness of my soul..

So defeated

So alone

All this pain and exhaustion....

Where are my friends?

Who's gonna hold me?

Who's gonna help me?

No one knows...

You don't care!

I need to pull myself together

And fight this monster inside!

I will show you all

That I can do it on my own... as always!

Just silent tears

Just deaf screams

Just an invisible struggle!

Tomorrow it's another day

Probably one more day in my life...

Empty, painful, lonely

Like many others!..

Just one more step

In this path of punishment

One more silent day

One more lie

One more false hope...

So,

If I wasn't here tomorrow

Would anyone miss me?

Or,

When i'm gone will you know indeed

How I really lived?

All the pain

All the sorrow

All the struggle...

All the tears that you didn't see

All the whispers when I was suffering?

Will you remember the best of me?

Pain pull back all my hopes and dreams...

No matter how hard you try

You just can't get rid of it!...

In your selfishness,

Would you understand how hard it is

For me to live the way I do ?...

Pretending to be fine

Smiling to disguise the pain inside?

Will you ever imagine how painful

It is have a life like mine?...

If you only knew that

A friendly voice sometimes is enough to ease the pain

That a call asking "are you ok?" would be the least you could do!!

I think I go for a sleep...

Maybe one day

I will find light and happiness again....

Maybe one day

I will wake up and all my hopes and dreams are back again...

Maybe one day...

But for now,

Let me go trying to stop my sorrow!!.....

June 2011

Mălina Olinescu - Eu cred

This is only for you... Allways One...

GooGle Translation:
I think
Me, I'll wait
I think that's not right
Let me just your memory is kept
I feel that you always
You're around me
Thought and spirit that protects me
You give me courage

I think I hear
I think not forget
From heaven to give me
A sign that you will stay
If I could have reached your world
I'd ask back
I believe in us

Maybe I'm wrong
Do not know how to look
The stars, and there you find
You live only in dreams
As you promised
We stay good friends
Good Friends

I think I hear
I think not forget
From heaven to give me
A sign that you will stay
If I could have reached your world
I'd ask back
I believe in us

Sometimes I feel as I look
I want to know
Only silence me a cred

I think I hear
I think not forget
From heaven to give me
A sign that you will stay
Me, if I could have reached your world
I'd ask back
I'd ask back
I believe in us
Ooh ...



Romanian Version:

Eu cred
Eu, eu te mai aştept
Cred că nu e drept
Să-mi rămână numai amintirea că ai fost
Eu simt că tu mereu
Eşti în jurul meu
Gând şi spirit ce mă ocroteşti
Îmi dai curaj

Eu cred că m-asculţi
Eu cred că nu uiţi
Din cer să îmi dai
Un semn că mai stai
Dac-aş putea s-ating lumea ta
Te-aş cere-napoi
Eu cred în noi

Eu poate că greşesc
Nu ştiu să privesc
Către stele, şi-acolo să te regăsesc
Tu vii numai în vis
Aşa cum mi-ai promis
Noi rămânem tot prieteni buni
Prieteni buni

Eu cred că m-asculţi
Eu cred că nu uiţi
Din cer să îmi dai
Un semn că mai stai
Dac-aş putea s-ating lumea ta
Te-aş cere-napoi
Eu cred în noi

Uneori te simt cum mă priveşti
Vreau să ştii
Numai liniştea mi-o dăruieşti

Eu cred că m-asculţi
Eu cred că nu uiţi
Din cer să îmi dai
Un semn că mai stai
Eu, dac-aş putea s-ating lumea ta
Te-aş cere-napoi
Te-aş cere-napoi
Eu cred în noi
Ooh...

What Am I? (part 2)

What am I?

A dark soul lost in time

An angel from hell

Bringing pain and sorrow!...

Misunderstood by the world am I!

I try to give love

And it turns into hate...

I try to give honey

But it tastes like poison!....

Darkness itself I am!

Always hurting

Never pleasing ...

I am the cry of the wolf in the cold night!...

Attempting to reach you,

I opened my heart to you

Yet you said I was evil....

Nasty words wounding me deeply,

Bleeding inside....

I am a lonely soul

Searching for its place,

A dark angel ...

Failing her mission!

I speak words of love and care

Still you can only hear harsh whispers in the air....

I am wicked...

I am hateful....

I hurt and damage ....

I don't belong here!

I wish so much that each of you look at me

And really see who I am!...

However,

No matter what I do

No matter Where I go

No matter what I say...

It's never good enough!

Cold heart

Drifting in the darkness of this world..

Feeling so lost, so empty...

Waiting for a sign!

Always trying to reach you...

Always trying to be loved..

Constantly attempting to be seen !

But eternelly disappointing.....

Nothing I can do

Will make you change your mind...

So blind you all are in your own world

That you cannot see the truth....

I do have feelings

I do care and love

I would give my life for each of you ...

I would share my love

I would open my heart....

But,

Damn you all

Always getting away from me

Because I am mean!

Judging me all the time !

Never listening to what i'm saying ...

It seems that I never do it right....

No matter how hard I try!...

I am nothing

I am the stone in your path...

I am the dust that blurs your vision ...

I am the the thunder that strikes you !

Evil soul

Lost in this world full of hate...

I am the wind that destroys everything..

I am the owl scaring you in the night !

I am darkness!

I tried to be perfect

I gave the world my heart

I trusted the world my soul

Yet, you tear it apart

fed on it....

And in the end ... spit on the leftovers !

I am evil

I am nothing

I am pain

I am the destroyer!!!

I tried though I failed once again...

Lost words in the night

Silent screams in my head...

Bleeding inside....

Misunderstood all the time !

Why do I try?

If I say sun you will hear moon,

If I say light you will understand dark

If I say - I am sorry, you will not listen!

You said I hurt you ...

You said I am evil itsellf

You said I scare people with my mean words

That they go away 'cuz I am not good!....

So what am I?

I am devil

I am a creep

I am the dust in the street

The storm that ravish eveything on its way

I am the darkness of the world

I am the frozen heart

I am suffering

I am poison!!!

I am eveything that does not worth it !

Dark angel with evil feelings ...

Cold soul lost forever

I am the fire that burns your hapiness...

I am what I am ...

You see evil where's is goodness

You see poison where's sweetness

You see hate where's love....

I might be the darkness in your day

I might be the nasty stone in your path

And the storm in your paradise...

I am emptiness!!

I'm just a lost soul

Looking for its place in this world ....

Crying for helpBegging for forgiveness

Asking to be seen....

However, the world is blind

And so are you!!!..

Hateful world

Judging me all the time ...

Pointing the finger...

Accusing! Killing!!

Sending me away ...

Never listening

Never understanding

Never forgiving !

Blindness and ignorance

Ruling your hearts!

So busy to see

That I am a soul with pure feelings!....

That I can love and give so much......

If I had the chance ..

But in the end...

I will always be ,

An evil dark angel ...

No matter what I do

No matter what I say

No matter where I go....

Always evil
Always empty

Always darkness!....

May 2011

Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over

In reply to the previous post...
Together we can...

UNTOLD FEELINGS

I'm lost in the night...
The sky is grey I wander why...
My heart stopped beating
'Cuz the pain is too strong!!...

I cry because I do not know
What am I doing....
Sneaky shades in the street
Following me
Haunting my thoughts!!

I want to feel
But my heart cannot beat anymore!
I want to scream
But no sound comes out from my mouth!!..
I want to say "forgive me"
But I do not find the right words....

Dark eternal night
Endless suffering
So lost
So empty!..

Deep inside i'm dying each day
I cannot find my way back!!..
I hear you calling my name in the distance
Trying to rescue me from myself....

Endless tears
Blurring my vision...
Crows in the night
Knives in my soul..

Crying, shouting in this empty space
whispering insane words
Wishing the impossible...
Running away!!

Grey night sky
Upon my head...
Stars pointing to me accusingly....
And I feel so small!

It aches inside,
All this solitude....
It burns like fire in hell
All this silence deep in my heart...

Forgive me,
For making you suffer!
forgive me,
For making you feel less!
Forgive me,
For making you think that I do not care!

Wash away my hard words
They are meaningless!....
All this darkness
All this pain....

Hopelessness heart....
Lonesome soul...
So foolish
So ruthless.....

In the eternal night I am
Lost forever
Trying to tell you "I do care"
Words lost in the wind...
Birds dying in the night!

Sleepless I am...
Forgive me,
For I do not know where i'm going to...
Save me from my own...
Embrace the night
And rise me up in your arms ...
Because lost I am!....


May 2011

A small gift for my lovely wife... I Love You!

Home is where our hearts live... for the one that cares...

To my husband who has always been there for me ... I need you more than you can imagine !

SPRING MEMORIES

The sun shines bright in the sky

And I smell the spring coming..

Birds singing..

The flowers are blooming!

What a wonderful feeling !...

I look to the sea

So calm, so blue

And I remind of all the good memories..

I can visualize the goods things

Of my life in my mind ...

I close my eyes

And I try to live all those memories again ...

I can smile ...they make me feel good, happy...

The sun in my face

Warms up my heart...

I miss that joy

I miss that happiness...

Deep inside I know I am loved...

But why do I feel so lonely? so unloved?

Why always this sensation of failure?

A small breeze caressing my face,

And I close my eyes again...

Trying to keep those memories alive....

Seagulls in the beach dancing for me

And the sound of the ocean is music for my hears!

Why can't life be just like this moment?

Why do we have to suffer?

Why do I feel such pain?

Why this emptiness inside?

Why do I feel so lost?....

Even when I am in your arms?

Why do I cry when you are loving me?

I wish I could fly,

So that I would reach the sun...

I wish I was a mermaid,

So that I could swim far away from here...

Never stopping...

Never regretting..

Never feeling...

Just flying till my wings fail!

Just swimming till I have no more breath!

But, running all the time

Setting myself free !!!

March 2011

THE POWER OF MY LOVE

I look to the sky
Searching for my lucky star
Wandering through the night
Looking for my place in this world...

I cause so much pain
to those I love!
Always trying to be the best...
And always failing!!

Wrong words coming out from my mouth...
Nasty, awful words..
Never winning
Never comforting..

What's my mission here?
My life worth nothing!!
No one cares for me
No one miss me!!!
So, what am I doing here?!

I can't help anybody...
So why the pain?!
Can you please stop the pain?
'Cuz it's too strong...

I cannot make you happy!
I always choose the wrong direction!
What's the point to live like this?!...
Always hurting
always failing
always destroying?!!!...

I cannot make the difference...
I can only bring suffering and regretts!
I will never be a shinning star!
I will never be anybody's sunshine!

All I do best is to hurt people I love...
Making them feel unloved and unwanted...
I try so hard to be the sun in the sky,
and the flower in the garden...
I try to light the night for you
But I only bring darkness!!...

What's my place in your life
If i cannot make you happy?
What's my duty in here?
I bleed inside
'Cuz you don't understand how big my love is..
I scream for help,
But you can't hear it!

I would die for you
I would sell my soul
Just to see you happy!

I would become blind
Just to light your day
I would fade away
Just to prove my love for you...

I would go to hell
If that would bring you happiness!!
I try each day
I fail every day...
I bleed for you
I cry for you
I suffer for you...

But in the end you can't see it, can you?
You are the best
And you should have it all!!
I am so sorry,for all the pain...

I do not deserve someone like you!
You can find better than me!
You deserve a shinning sun
To warm your day!
A starry night,
To make you smile ...

You deserve an angel
And all you got was a demon!
A creature from darkness
To haunt you...
You deserve better than me...
I will crawl back to where I belong....

February 2011

Dedicated to my Lovely Husband

Bon jovi - Thank you for loving me lyrics

ETERNAL WAITING

It's full moon night

I look at the sky thoughtful...

I look around

And there's nobody with me ...

Only shades in the dark

Moving slowly....

Only the whispers of the night walkers!

I'm looking for you my love

But I cannot find you....

I'm calling for you my friend

But no answer comes !

I feel so empty inside

It hurts so much this solitude ....

Where are you... my love? my friend?

I don't want to be scared

I don't want to run,

I don't want to hide anymore!...

My heart cries

My soul bleeds

All this emptiness

All this darkness...

So lonely, so lost

This is my world!

Flying birds wandering in the cold night...

I try not to cry...

But it hurts deeply...

This endless loneliness inside..

Where are you my love?

Where are you my friend?

Can't you see I need you?...

Here I am,

Looking to the sky

Trying to find my place in the night...

You all said "I'll be there for you"...

But here I am,

Needing you but yet...

I was forgotten...

I feel so exhausted..

Forsaken....lonesome!

It's full moon night

And only uncertainty is my companion....

Shadows surronding me,

Whispering me harsh words...

You all said "I'll be there for you"

Blind I was not to see the lies

Trying so hard to believe in your words

I was deceived!

Just longing for a false dream

Here I am...But you are not with me!

Lost in darkness I am

Just trying to trust again...

Just looking for a glimpse of hope ....

I find myself in this obscurity of life ...

Forever alone ...

Forever lost in this black world

No one to save me

No one to hold my hand

No one to clean my bleeding tears...

It's full moon night....

No stars in the sky

No one to rescue me....

Lost forever....

Echos in the dark ...

Embracing me in this coldness..

Bleeding inside I am...

Waiting...waiting for you all to come!

February 2012